Change and Decide: Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Cups, Judgement

It's time to change and decide.

July 3, 2013: Ace of Pentacles (Reversed)

Upright this card rocks. It's like...ka-ching! Can you see that great big hand appearing out of nowhere handing over that giant gold coin? Finally, things are coming together for you. Maybe you're gonna land that sweet job with awesome pay or you'll be inspired to set out on a new beginning, or suddenly you're going to have everything you need - guidance, abundance in everything. But most likely, all of the above. I lined up an interview for nanny/tutoring position that had amazing pay and perfect hours (freedom). I was floating on a cloud for a magic spell. Before the possibility of this job, I had decided I was going to live conservatively and find the cheapest rent possible. With the idea of this new salary, I suddenly more than doubled how much I was willing to pay for rent. But guess what? This great card was upside down. WOMP WOMP. :)

Upside down this card means that a financial opportunity may fall through so don't rely on it and save for the possibility of unemployment. Needless to say, I didn't land the nanny/tutoring gig but I was reminded of things I already knew to be true. How could I be so easily changed by a shiny gold coin (sweet paying job)? The reversed meaning of this card reveals the dark sides of wealth and the possibility of becoming overconfident. "You have learned how material gifts can be abused by selfishness, extreme competition, mistrust, and over dependency on security and comfort (source)." It was time to reassess my options. What's next?

July 29, 2013: Eight of Cups

I'm terrified of a "real job" and yet in avoiding it, I found myself working at juicery making smoothies and juice for 8 hours a day for 13 days straight. When I pulled this card it was a major wake up call. This card means feeling drained, lacking energy, and losing hope. My family was/is wondering what the hell I'm doing. Why am I making smoothies when I have my degree? Also, funny story: when I agreed to take the job I misheard the pay by ten whole dollars. "I'll have an apartment in no time!" I thought. And I'll be making SMOOTHIES! I LOVE making smoothies. Oh man, oh man, I do funny things. But before I could laugh at myself I wanted to cry at myself. On the train riding home. My eyes filled up hot and heavy. You know when those thoughts of self pity hit you. Woe is me! I'm such a loser; 25, pushing juice for minimum wage. My baby sisters saying, "Kris, remember your worth." Oh I just wanted to bawl my big eyes out on the L. 

But hey, a great astrologer, Mojopo says "there are no mistakes (if we do what we do for the experience.) And call me crazy but when I stopped feeling sorry for myself I started digging the experience. Some days I feel like Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe when I ask for a dollar advance on my tips to buy a slice on my break. When I first came to New York on that New Moon in June, my small savings felt like a fortune. You could count on me to buy you drinks or swipe my Metrocard ten times in one day. Now, I pay for my train/bus fare daily as I go - humbling. I now know the Metrocard blues. Now that I have less, I know what I have and I have what I need and I'm so grateful for that --to have what I need. Back to the Eight of Cups. I've decided to work less hours so that I have time to focus on what I am truly called to do and more time to search for a higher paying job. Because it's fun to pretend to be Patti back in the day, but I have to reach higher. Even Patti would say so. Also, I need to focus on an awesome job I already have doing booking and publicity for one of the greatest musicians of our time. This card asks us to look for answers, personal truths and devote more time to our inner spiritual lives. When I sat in the park before work researching this card, I felt strongly that I wanted to get back to studying tarot and my dreams of being an intuitive card reader and astrologer. And everyday after, it kept calling louder and louder to my heart. Eight of Cups...change is coming. 

August 10, 2013: Judgement

I went Instagram public with my decision to read tarot on August 9th. I just needed so badly to decide that I was going to do it. The next morning I did my first reading at the request of a friend and felt great afterwards, like I'm on the right path. The same morning I drew the judgment card for myself. This card represents the religious Last Judgement and signifies that an absolute is coming; making a decision. "Your days of sitting on the fence are done (source)." Today I did a reading that was delicate and made me cry. I'm reminded that as much as I love doing this, it's a real job and one I need to take seriously. I chose this and I'm going to do the very best I can. And soon I will be making more choices and this choice will have made me all the better at it. Phew. Off to make smoothies with a whole lotta love.

Peace & your favorite smoothie,
Kristina

Follow me on Instagram: @kristinathespy