Goodbye Illusions: Temperance, Two of Swords, Ten of Cups (reversed)
Today, my brain got a major workout. I asked a question which I later realized is pretty advanced for my fourth day. I drew a card that asked me to draw two more and I got my first reversed card. Hopefully I can condense this and make it cohesive. The question I asked was: What am I not seeing?
First I drew:
First I drew:
Two of Swords
What I see: A woman on a bench in front of the ocean, her arms are crossed and she holds a sword in each hand. She wears white clothes and is blindfolded with a cloth of the same material. There are rocks in the ocean behind her. The crescent moon is facing down which means it is growing bigger.
How I feel: Scared. Why does she need those big swords? She's wearing white so she must be innocent. The rocks! Those can't be good. Why doesn't she look scared? She's sitting up tall and looks so confident. I like her haircut. :) I have that haircut!
Meaning: This card means self-deception and choosing not to see the truth. The fact that her blindfold matches her clothes means she may have consciously chosen to be blindfolded. The bench means take time to really look into this card and I did. I was completely perplexed and even had to draw two more cards. It was almost too much to handle. The moon signifies intuition, it's growing bigger so things can still be good. Some say this card represents challenges and the swords may mean having to choose between two choices and avoiding this decision.
Personal: I asked what am I not seeing and was told that I'm not seeing that I'm choosing not to see. I then drew another card asking what is it that I'm choosing not to see or what do I have to choose? I drew:
The Ten of Cups (Reversed)
What I see: A man holds a woman's waist and they put their opposing arms out and upward as if to say, "This is the life!" There is a rainbow of abundance over their heads. Two children play and dance in front of them. There's a cute house surrounded by trees. It looks like a farm house. The ground is gold.
How I feel: This is what I want! This is everything I want with all of my heart. But wait, why is it upside down? Grrr.
Meaning: It's everything it looks like. There's more in depth meanings but my intuition is telling me that what is important right now is that it's everything it looks like. Reversed, it's telling me that it is one big illusion.
Personal: I recently got out of a relationship in which this card was put on a pedal stool from the very beginning. I will only speak for myself here and say that with this being everything I wanted, I was willing to do anything to have it. I turned off my intuition and let illusion guide me. It was about doing whatever had to be done in order to achieve the dream life presented in the Ten of Cups. The energy of the relationship was based on hopes for the future and this was like a magical spell uneasily broken.
Our children were named within months, I daydreamed their sun signs and Chinese astrology signs. Our future dog's name was Cody, our cat Delilah. We would live in Ithaca, NY. I looked up dream homes in my spare time at work. I emailed real estate people to inquire about how a young person like me could prepare for a first home in the area. When they realized I wasn't planning to buy for years they ignored me. I sketched out our farm house.
We were long distance and didn't have to deal with the mundane details of everyday life together so our time was spent creating Utopia. But of course illusions don't last. Of course everyone speculated silently.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, the next card I drew:
Temperance
What I see: An angel pours water from one cup to another. She stands in a stream, there is a road behind her that leads to a big, bright sun. Yellow lilies grow beside her. One foot is in water and one on earth. She has red wings. Temperance means abstinence, moderation, self-restraint.
How I feel: I can be balanced. I can have one foot in reality and one in my dream mystical world, but I must remember balance. Both will leave me fulfilled. I get to make choices and I'll be happier when I know I am making my decisions consciously. I want to have CLEAR vision. Having control can be healthy.
Meaning: This card means life is stabilizing and becoming more balanced and peaceful. Spiritual development is important. It's about the now and not getting wrapped up in the future. It's about going slowly. It can be about: "...arranging the elements of your life to a point where you cannot imagine what is needed to make things better. Likewise you cannot think of what should be eliminated either. When everything is just right, you know it (the bubble bath metaphor)." What do you get when you mix death and rebirth?
Personal: I'm a hopeless romantic. Illusions are dangerous for hopeless romantics. My intuition is telling me that the best card a hopeless romantic could draw early in their journey is temperance. This card is important not only in love but in life. Diving in blindly can be fun but complexity can be even more fun and surprisingly more interesting. With temperance, I get to create an awesome concoction with the assistance of the Universe. I get to taste it, see if it needs more salt or cream, maybe, and then after I get it exactly to taste, I get to eat a big bowl of it. It's going to taste so damn good. Perfect even. And perfect isn't a bad word until my intuition tells me otherwise.
I choose to see that Temperance is a key card in my life. This is a lesson I cannot forget.
I choose to see that Temperance is a key card in my life. This is a lesson I cannot forget.
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